What Have You Learned Since High School?

When you think of high school, what comes to mind? This baby boomer remembers bell-bottomed pants, long hair, Afros, and brightly colored, flower-patterned outfits. Oh, yes, and school dances, the Prom, and "first love."

But high school years are about more than just memories. In profound ways, those years continue to shape our lives, for better or worse. Indeed, as I was pondering my upcoming 30-year high school reunion, I began wondering: What have I learned since high school?

It's not an uncommon question, and the fortunate among us would reply that they have gotten to know themselves better and have come to appreciate their own unique, innate qualities. They have discovered what Ralph Waldo Emerson meant when he wrote: "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." I hope that they have discovered that "what lies within" is paramount to success.

Interestingly, Gallup Organization research with more than 2 million people over three decades reaches a similar conclusion: Understanding what lies within -- or, as Gallup puts it, a person's unique talents and strengths -- is the single most important factor that distinguishes those who enjoy great success from those who don't. Knowing your "wiring" and applying that wiring productively is the key to leading an accomplished and fulfilled life.

The sad thing is that most people aren't aware of what lies within. "Most Americans," Peter Drucker writes in his book, The Effective Executive, "do not know what their strengths are," a statement borne out by Gallup's research. In fact, when Gallup asked more than 1.7 million employees in 101 companies from 63 countries whether they agreed with the statement, "At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day," only 20% could strongly agree. And what's worse, the longer an individual stays with an organization and the higher he climbs on the career ladder, the less likely he is to strongly agree that he plays to his strengths in his role at work.

What were your yearnings?
So, why are so many people unaware of their talents and strengths? And, if you are one of those people, what can you do about it?

Well, you can start by remembering your high school years, and reconsidering your dreams and aspirations. What did you most yearn to do back then? What did you tell your friends you wanted to become? The fact is, your innermost yearnings -- many of which were made manifest during your teenage years -- offer clues to identifying your strengths.

A yearning is a compelling need to do something. Your yearnings drive you. They cause you to do things that others may see as unusual.

Take Miguel, for example. He has many strengths in Discipline. His closet is always immaculate; every piece of clothing is placed with precision. His shirts, pressed neatly and arranged by color, hang on matching colored hangers. His pants, in addition to being color-coded, hang so that they are the exact same distance from the floor. His motto is "a place for everything and everything in its place." Lest you think there's no productive use for this seeming obsessiveness, Miguel's yearning for order is responsible for his outstanding success as a project manager.

Or take Charles, as another example. His talents in Woo (winning others over) create in him strong yearnings to reach out and connect with people; he does it all the time. Where others see strangers in a crowded airport, Charles sees thousands of opportunities to make a new friend, even if just for the moment. In his job, his ability to woo makes him an extremely effective seminar facilitator. His audiences learn from him because they can't help responding to his irresistible friendliness.

Then there is Rilla, whose many yearnings are rooted in her Achiever talents. Every day, she makes a list of things to accomplish. She is driven and energized as she crosses items off her list, and her greatest thrill is to review her list and look back at all that she accomplished during the day. In fact, she gets such a charge out of marking things off her list, she has been known to add things she has done that were not on her list, just so she can experience the rush of marking them off.

Rilla's drive, high energy, and yearning to accomplish have helped her to become arguably the most productive chief nursing officer in her organization. Her insatiable desire to get things done comes naturally to her -- she can't help achieving. It's just the same for Miguel, with his innate self-discipline, or Charles, with his winning personality. They can't help acting on their strengths.

Every one of us has yearnings like that, urges that drive us to do the things we do. Discovering what those yearnings are, and matching them to a career choice, is what the most successful people do differently, according to Gallup research. And managers should carefully select and develop their employees for roles that are tailored to their strengths.

Fine, you think, but don't our yearnings change after high school? Not much. Research shows that from about the age of 15 onward, our patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving are pretty much set. The young man who didn't have much to say in middle school and for most of high school, but who is now regularly the featured speaker before thousands, didn't change much. What most likely has changed is his awareness of what lies within him and his intentional expression of his talent.

Gallup asked this question around the world: "Which do you think will help you improve the most? Knowing your strengths, or knowing your weaknesses?"

Those who choose to focus on their strengths and manage around their weaknesses are a minority in every country, according to Gallup research.

Go back to high school
So take an imaginary trip back to high school. Recall your deepest yearnings. If you are a manager, get your employees to do the same.

But also remember how your parents, teachers, and friends gave you sometimes subtle -- or perhaps overt -- instructions about what you should be and what you should do. These suggestions, and the demands of our jobs, our lives, our families, and even society itself, often pull us away from our yearnings. Before we realize it, our truest feelings become suppressed by what is expedient or what is expected. But our yearnings do not change; we don't lose our strengths. Instead, we simply tend to focus on our weaknesses, like the majority of people in the world do, as this recent global study illustrates.

The fact is, people are distracted by their weaknesses. But it's also a fact that our yearnings are intact. We have just gotten used to ignoring that yearning. We turn a deaf ear to that nagging voice reminding us that we used to enjoy painting, or singing in a choir, or acting in plays, or just simply making work fun. Since high school, too many of us have become boring and bored, not because of age, but because we have failed to focus on our strengths. We have not grown as much in self-discovery as we could have -- and still can, if we listen to the yearnings within us.

So, tell me, what have you really learned since high school?